“Just make a to-do list.”
That advice, right there. That’s the one that sends me straight into the void. That’s the phrase that makes my brain revolt and my soul astrally project into a dimension where checkboxes don’t exist and nothing is expected of me. Bliss.
Listen: I am begging neurotypicals to stop giving this advice to ADHD people like it’s a one-size-fits-all magic spell. Do you have any idea what happens when I make a to-do list?
Let me tell you.
What I think I’m doing:
Making a helpful, structured outline of things I need to do so I don’t forget and can feel accomplished.
What I’m actually doing:
Building a Rube Goldberg machine of anxiety, shame, procrastination, executive dysfunction, and color-coded stickers I’ll stare at until I die.
Somewhere between item #3 (“email dentist”) and item #4 (“start a new career”), I spiral into philosophical despair and start asking questions like:
- “Why do humans have teeth anyway?”
- “Who decided deadlines were real?”
- “If I rearrange this list enough times, is that technically productivity?”
And before you know it, I’ve spent four hours customizing a task manager that looks like a Lisa Frank fever dream, then closed the tab, deleted the app, and crawled back into my blanket cave.
I’m not lazy. I’m overwhelmed. I’m not forgetful. My brain is doing a synchronized dance routine with 42 tabs open and only one of them is playing music, but I can’t find which one.
So no, Susan, I will not be making a to-do list today. Unless it includes:
- Cry
- Drink iced coffee
- Write a mildly unhinged blog post about why to-do lists are my nemesis
- Post it for internet strangers to enjoy
- Cry again (optional, but likely)
If you’re also an ADHD gremlin who has turned a planner into a shame scrapbook, just know: you’re not alone. And honestly? You’re doing amazing, sweetie.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go alphabetize my spice rack while forgetting to eat lunch and suddenly remembering I owe someone an email from 2021.
Have you ever destroyed a planner with your mind? What’s the worst neurotypical advice you’ve ever received? Drop your glitter-coated war stories in the comments.



One response to “Don’t Tell Me to Make a To-Do List (Unless You Want Tears and Glitter)”
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